Placing a Marker
I haven’t written anything here for awhile, so I thought I’d place something down just to have something to refer to when I want to look back at my thoughts and emotions.
Here’s the deal children. I feel as if I’m in purgatory. Landmark has no social outlet whatsoever. I also seem to find that everyone here seems to be predetermined to life a life full of needless dramatics. I can’t walk from the dorms on side of campus to the other without hearing at least three conversations swollen with some sort of pain. I find that emotional conversations are sometimes unavoidable, however I never find that they should be so frequent, or had in public. Come on now Landmark kids, you all have dorm rooms, go have it out there. One out of every three nights I hear someone upset outside my room. My first instinct is to go console them, but I’ve recently realized that here being upset is a sort of status quo. The possibilities for being hurt on campus here seem to be more available than anywhere else I’ve been. To put it simply this campus is ridiculous. More often than not I’d rather avoid these children. If I’m to engage in life here I need to find some residents who do not fit this mold. So for now, it’s purgatory. I stay here, become an accomplished student, and wait for it to be over. In the future I need to be able to rage around with wildness. I need to have something that makes my heart race. I need to connect with people around me deeply and without reservation. I need to experience all the extremities sensation has to offer. I need more to live for than doing well in school.
On a more positive note. I’m getting really good at managing my various responsibilities, and basically being a student. I turn shit in, I do homework, I make all my meetings. Learning how to do stuff like that is why I came here. So huzzah for success.
